Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything. School is still going well but has been time consuming. This isn’t going to be a long post either. Just trying to convince myself I haven’t given up yet on the idea of blogging. It’s on my todo list and I even have a list of things I might ramble about… I just have a hard time sitting down and doing it. Kind of like exercise. In theory, a very good idea, but… just doesn’t seem to happen like it should. I have the best intentions but then the end of the day comes along and I still haven’t done it. Hmmm…. oh well, sh*t happens, I guess.
Not much profound to say… I have two papers due this week in addition to all the normal reading. I think I have a handle on it though. It will be interesting to see what kind of grades I get back as these will be the first graded papers I’ve written in at least 17 years… I may or may not report how it works out 🙂
I think my life directions are going to become more clear as the semester goes on. I’m loving the theological aspects of classes. I’m not feeling particularly drawn to parish ministry, though. Although I like worship and spiritual formation type issues, there are other important aspects to ministry (such as pastoral care) that I don’t feel particularly called to or gifted in. What that means long term, I’m not sure.
I’m probably repeating myself, but it is an ongoing question in my mind… I’m not sure anyone is reading this anyway 🙂
I’m not even sure what the purpose of this blog is at the moment 🙂 Seems like I should be able to put something interesting down here but I haven’t had much to think about this week except school work. Anyone want to hear about Sabellianism and Arianism? Didn’t think so. That was one of my paper topics. The other is thoughts on parallels between the Hebrew Bible and other ancient texts. An example of a parallel might be commonalities between biblical stories about Moses’ birth and stories about the birth of some ancient king. What might that mean to Christianity and Biblical interpretation, etc. Interesting stuff, to me, anyway.
Back to Chicago tomorrow… I really don’t have anything to write at the moment, but I kind of feel like if I’m going to journal/blog on here, then I need to do something regularly… It’s been a blah week… too much worrying about life (and the meaning thereof), school work, money, etc. and not enough actually doing what I need to be doing, which is reading and research for a couple of papers due next week. Not to mention the time I should be spending on my spiritual life, including the shamanic healing methods workshop I’m taking. Too much to do and too much to worry about… Oh well, no time for that tomorrow as the day is booked with travel and classes…
Tomorrow is week 4 of seminary… the long commute is wearing a little. I’m gone from 6 am until 9:30 pm. I don’t really want to move to Chicago, though. It’s too early to decide anything about what happens after this semester.
Been feeling kind of run down today. I think that’s because I started a training workshop on shamanic healing methods this last weekend which went from about 9:30 in the morning until 5 pm with an hour drive each way to get there and home. I know that put me behind in my reading for CTS classes tomorrow. The shamanic healing class will be pretty interesting though. It was a good start, it just wiped me out mentally. The class goes one or two days a month through May. Maybe sometime I’ll write more about the shamanic practices I’m learning. I’m not sure I feel up to it at the moment though.
Baseball season is about over, at least for the Tigers. Already thinking about next season… they have some needs to fill so it should be an interesting off season.
I don’t want to propose we blame God for evil. However, if one says God cannot be liable for evil, does it follow that God cannot be credited for good as well? Does that make God passive in the world?
I wouldn’t say that God plays no part in evil. I would like to propose that evil results from human separation from God. It’s more than just a simple human choice. Maintaining a connection with the Holy is how we avoid committing evil acts (on an individual basis, anyway)… that divine connection in turn produces the good stuff… maybe this is too simple, but it works better for me.
God as a divine Santa Claus seems to be alive and well in the minds of Christians today. A week or so ago, someone from a local church left a pamphlet on my door… this pamphlet warns me that my joy or sorrow for all eternity depends upon my answer to the question “am I saved?” For me, this is a message of fear and intimidation from an extremely limited God. This is not the God I know and, frankly, I don’t think I’d ever want to know this God.
As for what I believe… God is a God of Love and the “kingdom of God” is not about some afterlife but what we are making of this life here and now. Saved to me means I have a relationship with the Holy, I’m in touch with the Divine within me, and I’m trying to live a life of love as modeled by Jesus. It has nothing to do with what happens after I die.
Back to the pamphlet… it’s message: “you are a sinner”, “you are condemned to death”, “eternal separation from God in Hell”… this God is obviously checking his list of who’s naughty and who’s nice. If you’re one of the naughty ones… watch out! Is this a God anyone would really want to serve? A God who would burn in Hell billions of people (including good honorable people) just because they didn’t believe in Jesus? Why would I be interested in that God? But wait… the pamphlet says if I have doubts about this, just “do not trust your feelings”. I guess I’m just supposed to close my mind and blindly do what I’m told to do… no thinking, no feeling… don’t need any of that because this church has found all the answers for me.
Oh well, this message both amuses and saddens me. This is the face of Christianity that too many see. How do we better show them the God of Love and Hope that I see when I read the story of Jesus?
A couple of news items…
First, a company specializing in insurance for churches that is refusing to insure churches that take controversial stances. Aren’t churches supposed to take controversial stances? Isn’t the church supposed to do justice work? What good would a church be that only took the safest path? Here’s a link… Anti-gay Insurance Company
Second, if you haven’t read anything about the Jena 6, please go google the story now. A disturbing case of inequitable justice and racism.
[a 9/14 update on the Jena 6 case from CNN]
[a 9/20 update on the Jena 6 case from CNN]
Two weeks of seminary classes done… I’m enjoying the classes so far. The Hebrew Bible class is interesting and the History of Christian Thought class is, well, history… 🙂 The Theories of Change class has really piqued my interest though, at least for the moment. Our first assigned reading is sections about Mircea Eliade from the book “The Archetype of Initiation” by Robert L. Moore (disclaimer: Moore is also the professor teaching this class). The readings discuss the creation of transforming sacred space and the need for rituals and ritual leaders. I find this fascinating as a way of answering the question of how does humankind find the divine. It makes one think about what Christian worship services could be but often aren’t: a way of meeting the divine to transform ourselves into beings meeting our full potential. Or at least beings on the path to living out our full potential… Eventually, I want to go back and read this entire book. This may be a topic that helps clarify where I’m going on my own life journey. We shall see…
I see my interest in shamanistic practices in this same vein… practices which can be used to connect with the divine in a transforming way. I’ve signed up for some advanced training in shamanic healing methods and I’m getting excited about it. How can I use this to transform and heal myself, others, and the natural world? How can this be integrated into my journey along the path of the Christian tradition? I think these are exciting questions!
Well, I’m about to begin the second week of my seminary experience. First impressions… lots of reading, lots of papers, and really long days commuting to Chicago. I’m not sure how I’m going to get all the reading done. Hopefully, I can figure out what to skip or how to skim through it faster. I normally tend to read slowly, though, wanting to catch every word. Right now, I’m just trying to get through it. I’m not sure I’m really retaining that much. Of course, it doesn’t help when after a half hour of reading I get an overwhelming urge to nap 🙂
It’s Sunday already and I still have some reading left and a paper to write for Tuesday… I have tomorrow free to work on it, but I’ve got things to do today. I’m sure glad I don’t have a job at the moment. I sure don’t see how people can manage working and school at the same time, although from a practical standpoint I’ll probably eventually have to figure that out too.
What do I believe about God? I try hard not to personify God. I think that attributing the characteristics of humans to God is what leads to a lot of the problems with religion including what I like to call the glorified Santa Claus model of God. Someone who sits somewhere far away, is all knowing, all powerful, and spends all their time making a list and checking it twice to see who’s naughty and who’s nice. The nice people get gifts and the naughty people get lumps of coal. It’s frightening to see that for many, God seems to be nothing more than a version of Santa Claus for adults.
Unfortunately, because of upbringing and just a lack of a better way of expression, it’s hard not to personify God. But, when I can I try to think of God in this way: God is the creative, loving energy that interconnects all of creation. That includes each and every human… God is part of each of us and we are each part of God. For me, this leads to the conclusion that every human has intrinsic value no matter if they act like it or not.
And faith… keeping the faith is something that gets really hard in times of turmoil. I’ve come to think of faith as the knowledge that God is working in your life for the better, especially when there’s no apparent evidence to that effect. I think it is easy and natural, and not completely inappropriate, to be angry at God when things seem to go terribly wrong. Specifically thinking of God as NOT a person helps me to not blame God so much but still to rely on God for strength and sense of inner worth during dark times. Faith is knowing that God is there working through me both when I can see it happening and when it looks like God has flown the coop.
As I move into the seminary experience this fall, it will be interesting to see how my views change. The experience is billed as transforming so I’d expect to change and be changed… a little scary but kind of exciting too.