Piece of the Puzzle

random musings...

Semester over

School is over until September. I took a one week summer class which I still have to write a paper for (on atonement theories), but other than that, my summer is mine 🙂

I’ve got some projects I’m thinking about, including learning c++. Who knows how things will shape up?

I saw The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian this week. I’d highly recommend it. I think if you liked the first one, you’ll like this one too.

Not much else to write about. I haven’t really kept the blog updated as much as I thought I would. Hopefully I can do better 🙂

Moses and Jonah

How do you hear what God is trying to say, if God is trying to say anything? I felt called to go to seminary and I’m glad I did. However, I was never sure if that calling included ministry or what kind of ministry. I’m at the point where I need to make some decisions… I’ve been trying to listen for God, but I’ve gotten no burning bush like Moses. So I’m going to do my best to make good decisions and if they’re the wrong decisions, God is just going to have to threaten me with a big fish or something like Jonah. To that end, I’m currently planning on switching to the MA degree instead of the MDiv degree I’d need to be an ordained minister. Being ordained just doesn’t feel right at this time. There’s things that I like about a pastor’s roles and things I don’t think I’m suited for… Is it the right decision? Am I just running scared? If I really am not called to be a pastor, does it make sense to continue in seminary at all? If I get the MA degree in Theology, where does that lead me? Hmmm… making decisions just leads to more questions… Where’s that dang burning bush?

The future

It’s been a while since I posted. School has been busy. I’ve given up trying to catch up with reading. Just have to fake it.

This week I have to sign up for classes for the fall so I’ve also been trying to decide my future. Or at least try to get myself pointed in the right direction.

MDiv or MA degree? Do I really want to pursue ordination?
Kalamazoo or Chicago? Chicago is a nice place to visit, but…
If MDiv, then the school’s contextual ed program or something else? The school’s program would require moving to Chicago…
If MA, then where exactly am I headed? Is it worth the money if the only reason I have to continue is that I like the academics? Money definitely has to be a consideration…

I like worship planning and preaching (although I think I like writing the sermon more than giving it – but at least by giving it, you know someone has heard you)… but there is so much more to ministry that doesn’t particularly get me excited. The schedule of classes I’d have with the MA degree is much more appealing than what I’d have with the MDiv.

Hmmm… but how can one be sure you’re doing the right thing????

Another note on Rev. Wright

Regarding the context of one of the sermons he’s been criticized for… thanks to CNN for actually realizing that the comments were criticized out of context. And it doesn’t really sound like there is anything more to criticize here in this particular sermon.

Rev. Wright

An added note to my posting yesterday. Here is another pastor’s take on the comments: Pastor Bob Cornwall

I had forgotten about Wright’s conspiracy comments on AIDS (mentioned by a commentor on the above link). That’s probably a more fitting example of an objectionable comment than the Hillary Clinton comments I mentioned yesterday.

Pastor and parishioner

Recently, Rev. Jeremiah Wright of Trinity UCC in Chicago has been vilified in the press for some of things said in sermons in the last few years. Wright retired earlier this year but he was the long time pastor of presidential candidate Barack Obama.

My view on this… some of the things Wright was saying don’t seem too bad to me… what’s wrong with pointing out that the United States is not blameless in this world? I think it is critical that we do so. But, some of the things Wright has said strike me as more suspect… criticizing Hillary Clinton for her privileged position as a *white* woman in comparison to Obama’s less than privileged position as a *black* man seems to be me to just be the flip side of what Geraldine Ferraro was recently criticized for saying. Bascially it sounds like they’re arguing about who’s oppression is worse (gender vs. race). It’s a pointless argument that I can see no positive benefit from. All oppression needs to be addressed.

I also could very well be wrong about my personal assessments of Wright’s quotes because all of the quotes were out of context. They were 10 second clips out of a sermon, which I’m guessing probably ran a lot longer. To really try to judge what he was saying, I think one should be obligated to listen to the whole sermon.

However, in any case, none of that is what really upsets me the most. What I don’t understand is why Barack Obama is being held responsible for what his minister said? What is the relationship between pastor and parishoner? The media seems to think that everyone who goes to church has to blindly believe and do what the preacher says. And, if they don’t, I guess they need to issue a press release to make their disagreement public. It all seems ludicrous to me. I’m much more interested in what Obama says than what his pastor said.

Blind Fall

I took the time to read a novel this weekend. It wasn’t that disruptive as I basically read it in one day. I would highly recommend “Blind Fall” by Christopher Rice. He’s the son of Ann Rice who is famous for the Vampire Chronicles novels. He’s written four books, which I guess would all fall into the drama / thriller category, and they are all excellent. All the books also have some kind of gay theme running through them, which makes them especially appealing. The main character in this book is a straight marine vet who struggles to deal with the homosexuality of other characters in the book as he tries to remain faithful to a murdered marine buddy by finding his murderer and protecting his buddy’s male lover. It was a good story and very well written.

School and what’s next?

It’s been awhile since I posted anything. I’ve been struggling to keep up with reading for my classes. Now I’m also getting to the point in the semester where there are tests to take and papers to write so I don’t expect things to let up much.

What has been going on in my life? Well, mainly school work and trying to figure out what is the next step. Trying to discern what my “calling” really is… I seem to change my mind a lot. But in any case, I need to make some decisions soon as the semester will come to a close in another 8 weeks or so. I’m still working out my thoughts, but right now I’m leaning towards finishing out school. Whatever I do, I need to be doing something meaningful with my life to be happy.

Back to school again

I’ve been sick for the past week. Not much was accomplished Monday through Thursday. I didn’t even go to classes on Wednesday and Thursday. Finally got some energy back on Friday but am still fighting with a cough. Entering the third week of classes and I feel so far behind already. Hopefully I can get caught up. At least it’s sunny out today (but cold) so it looks cheery out the window. Not really much to ponder on here today. Just need to read and read and read for classes next week 🙂

Why believe in God?

I was thinking about this not too long ago… why do I believe there is a God? It was a little disconcerting to realize that I don’t have a very good answer. I googled the question to see if I could stumble on a good answer and what I found was pretty weak in my opinion. The answers I found other people giving seemed to be one of the following.

1. God calls us… This is perhaps the best answer for me. But it doesn’t really work if you’re trying to explain to someone else. And does a longing in me to connect to something bigger than me, something divine, really show that that something is there? Or could it just be an unfulfilled emotional need that doesn’t know how to express itself so it longs for the unknown.

2. Our world is so complex that someone must have created it… well, this argument simply doesn’t make sense to me. Ancient peoples attributed to God many things which we can now understand scientifically. This seems to be the same thing. We can’t understand what’s going on so it must be God.

3. So many people believe in God that God must exist… Well, I think there is at least something to this argument. We shouldn’t discount the experiences of millions of people over thousands of years. Of course, it doesn’t *prove* anything. I also believe humans have a great capacity to delude ourselves in order to maintain a semblance of order and security in our lives. I think many religious beliefs are rooted in this need for order.

So, why do I believe in God? I can’t give a definitive reason. I think we can neither prove that God does exist nor that God doesn’t exist. The arguments I’ve read about why God can’t exist seem just as weak to me as the arguments I’ve read that God does exist.

What I do believe is that humans are more than the sum of our physical parts. I find it hard to accept that we are nothing more than the elements that make up our bodies and charged by some electrical impulses in our brain. I guess that is more intuitive than scientific. But, if you can reject the machine model of humanity as insufficient, then spirituality to me is the quest for understanding what makes us more than a machine. Investigating this difference, what I might call our divine aspect, to me, is the spiritual journey that leads to God.

So I guess this is what it boils down to for me… if you believe in the machine model of humanity then I’ll never convince you there is a God. But if humankind is more than skin-clad machines, how can you not believe in God?

Of course, this says nothing about the nature of God… another good topic for another day…

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