Lessons of a Summer Day at the Beach
O Mother Earth, in selfish need we grasp
for the riches and might of guns and gold.
To profit and death we cling 'til last gasp,
feasting on your carcass, vultures so bold.
If we were to but pause in our pursuit
to taste the sweet juice of the orange night sky,
to smell cotton candy clouds drift en route,
our love for you we might intensify.
Hear the frothy madness of waves tumbling.
Feel the furnace blast of the golden sun.
Sink your bare feet into the sand crumbling.
Gaze to the horizon to be undone.
Wholeness cannot be found in token wealth,
but in the sacred earth we gain our health.
©2016 Kenneth W. Arthur
The Scream (for Orlando, June 12, 2016) One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord — the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream. – Edvard Munch We are the instruments of God. If that's all God has to work with we're doomed, an off-key, out of sync marching band parading off a cliff, cheered on by the bombastic blaring of trump-ets. Is that why the man is screaming under the blood red sky? Oh, how the crimson shrieks. Is it the horror of two men tenderly kissing? Is it the horror of forty-nine souls now missing? Is it the scream of a bad dream? Is it the blood raining from the clouds, running down the walls? Is it the tears flooding over the shrouds, cascading as an angel falls? Or is God screaming? And the man cowers as the shriek of nature's despair echoes, the cacophony of a marching band parading off a cliff. ©2016 Kenneth W. Arthur
This last week I spent some of my vacation time at a retreat called “Bear Your Soul” (BYS) at Easton Mountain, north of Albany, New York. I went to the same retreat last summer as well. As I understand it, the mission of this retreat is to create community for gay men (especially for “bears”) that is centered around building relationship instead of going out to the bar. BYS and Easton Mountain more generally provides a place that encourages spiritual growth, self-acceptance, and self-discovery, helping gay men to integrate body and soul.
This year, I’m feeling the need to debrief a little, so some random comments…
A quick and dirty poem inspired by my vacation retreat experience:
Bearing My Soul
I am
who I am.
To bear my soul is to
carry the knowledge
of who I am.
To bare my soul is to
reveal the knowledge
of who I am.
My soul as a bear
is strong yet weak,
frightened yet courageous,
healed yet wounded,
unsure yet grounded,
spiritual and physical,
simple and complex.
To bear my soul is to
discover and accept
who I am.
To bare my soul is to
open and risk
who I am.
I am
who I am.
It is enough
and it is good.
©2016 Kenneth W. Arthur
I’ve had this blog for quite a while and not done much with it. Today I’m feeling inspired although I don’t guarantee that’s going to last 🙂
Has blogging gone out of style? That’s often when I pick something up 🙂
Why post on a blog that no one may ever read? Seems a little like asking the universe rhetorical questions. I think I’m ok with that.
This summer I took a poetry workshop at the Kalamazoo Institute of Arts. It was a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed having a new outlet for writing. I’m going to take the workshop again in the fall, but in the meantime I’ve been pondering a couple of questions as a newbie amateur poet.
What to do with my poems when they’re “done”? In a sense I’m writing for myself but I also have an urge to share them. Maybe I just want to be told they’re good — even if they aren’t. Egos are fragile 🙂 I did some research into the idea of submitting to literary journals but after submitting a few poems it seems like a lot of work for not much gain. And do I really feel a need to be officially published? I’m not sure I do. I’m thinking for now I’ll just post a poem on this blog when I feel like it. Maybe people will see them or maybe they won’t.
Is a poem really ever done? It seems like it’s finished when I run out of ideas to improve it, but then if I take it to a workshop group I can always get more ideas 🙂 I’m going to post poems that I feel happy with at the time I post them but I’m not sure that will mean they are finished poems. Perhaps, like humans, poems can always be improved upon.
Poetics
A whitewater rapids of tumbling words,
flowing fast and furious, threatening to crash,
or a decaying tooth holding fast by its roots,
refusing to give way, painstakingly extracted.
A scientist interrogates the mysteries of the cosmos
and determines we are principally uncertain.
A mystic stalks a labyrinth to invite visions
and loses herself, becoming the universe.
An explorer sets sail for new frontiers
and runs aground in lands already occupied.
A pirate raids an English brigantine for its gold
and exhausts the booty on rum while singing sea shanties.
A potter shapes clay into prismatic pottery, plates and mugs,
and fills them with nachos and beer.
An artisan strips away the layers of peeling paint
and reveals the natural beauty of the wood carving.
A psychologist penetrates humanity's dark shadows
and is eaten by the boogie man hiding under the bed.
A fortune teller gazes into a crystal ball
and finding it forever cloudy makes some shit up.
A gardener nurtures the seedlings in the rich humus
not knowing whether they will yield fruit or die from the blight.
A miner burrows deep for the glitter of gold
but owes his soul to the company store.
A picketer disrupts the corporate office, demanding justice,
and frees himself from the confines of a nine-to-five.
A librarian sorts and categorizes to impose order on chaos
and returns home to unwashed dishes perpetually piled high.
A paramour makes love in staid halls,
and shocks the self-righteous with the secret joys of fornication.
To breathe new life
into a tired world.
©2016 Kenneth W. Arthur
It’s been weirdly re-assuring to see conservative politicians condemn Donald Trump’s proposal to stop Muslims from entering the US. I truly fear what far-right conservatives would do to our country in their pursuit of more wealth for the rich should they regain control of the presidency so it’s nice to think there is some moral line that they wouldn’t cross. Trump seems to finally have found that line.
As a nation we must stop giving into our fear. We must stop condemning an entire religion because of criminal terrorist organizations that create mayhem in the name of Islam. They no more represent Islam than Westboro Baptist Church represents Christianity. When we attack the entirety of Islam because of these terrorists it simply makes us their best agents because it creates a fertile atmosphere for them to recruit people to their cause. Instead, we need to embrace our Islamic brothers and sisters with love. That is how we could truly disarm the terrorists.
As many have been pointing out it is high time for ALL people, but especially our leaders, to speak out against the fear and hate that is running rampant throughout our nation, resulting in levels of xenophobia, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and anti-Islamic rhetoric that are frightening. It feels as if the world has gone insane.
As a Christian minister, I am particularly disturbed that supposedly Christian leaders such as Jerry Falwell, Jr., Franklin Graham, and Pat Robertson routinely add to the fear. Such messages are not based in the Christian gospel. Remarks such as Falwell’s comments that we could “end those Muslims” by arming more people are profoundly offensive to me and should be offensive to all Christians. Christ taught that “love your neighbor” was the basis of, well, everything that matters. Anyone that preaches anything else is very simply not Christian.
Whether we are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, some other religion, or atheist, I hope that “love your neighbor” or some other version of the golden rule is a principle we can all get behind. It is only by realizing our inter-dependence, realizing that we need each other, can we save this crazy world we are living in. We have to stop the insanity. It’s time to stand up and say enough is enough. We need to declare that all lives matter, but we need to do that not as some kind of code that really means white American lives matter. We need to be specific: Black lives matter. Latino lives matter. Muslim lives matter. Trans lives matter. And on and on. Not to say it is to deny it.
The German protestant pastor Martin Niemoller is famous for the post World War II quote:
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
The truth of this is more relevant today than ever. It’s time to speak out however we can, whenever we can. #blacklivesmatter #iammuslim
The “anarchistreverend” blog, in the post http://anarchistreverend.com/2011/07/synchroblog/, asked people to blog about queer theology today, August 10, 2011. I think it will have a list of all of those who responded by blogging. My friend Cindi, who blogs at http://cindik.com/, has echoed the call several times, which finally inspired me to add a few words to the cause.
The original proposal stated: “On that day I want people to blog about what queer theology means to them. I want you to share your story of how reading the Bible queerly has changed your life. I want you to talk about how your sexuality or your gender identity has brought you deeper into relationship with God.”
And further clarified: “This synchroblog is NOT ABOUT apologetics. This isn’t about taking on the clobber passages or explaining why it’s okay to be queer. It’s time to move past those conversations. […] This day will give a hint of the beautiful stories that can be shared; of the amazing ways that queer folks read and delve into the Scriptures.”
Since I’ve waited until the last possible moment to think about this, my thoughts aren’t as well thought out as I would like… but I’ll give it a shot.
As a gay pastor of a small church composed of mostly LGBT people, the relationship of Christianity and queerness is very much of personal interest to me. First of all, I would echo the anarchistreverend’s sentiment that “it’s time to move past [apologetic] conversations.” Although I don’t mind giving my take on the “clobber” passages or why one can be queer and Christian to those who are genuinely struggling with those questions, I have no interest whatsoever in arguing about it with those who are determined to adhere to homophobic views. Queer people are loved children of God and our inherent, God-given worthiness is not up for debate. Period. End of Question.
But what does being queer and Christian mean to my life? For one, if I had not come to terms with being gay, I probably would never have come back to the church or Christianity. After many years, having left the church behind for reasons that had nothing to do with the question of queerness, I came back to church as a safe place to meet other gay people. In the process, I discovered “progressive” Christianity and re-found my love of the church and God. This has led me on a weird and wonderful journey to ministry.
But does being gay / queer enhance my spiritual journey? One way in which it does is that being a queer Christian forces me to question the status quo. To think for myself. I cannot just accept whatever traditional doctrine that I’m told I’m supposed to believe. Too many church teachings have historically been about maintaining the church’s power over people’s lives and not about helping them find God’s love. To buy into those doctrines would be self-damaging and irresponsible. The way many churches treat queer people is a good example of this at work.
This questioning and challenging is a gift that queer people give to the church. Being queer is to be on the margins of what is “acceptable.” Queerness makes people question and challenge boundaries, especially as to whether our boundaries are really God-given or established by fearful, power-pursuing humans. Marriage is a good example. Queerness challenges the status quo. It challenges the very definition of and reasons for marriage.
But, our questioning as queer people should also go beyond pushing the boundaries outward to include more people. We should question the very structure of the boundaries. Sticking with marriage, we might question whether being included in this institution is even the best thing. Perhaps we instead need new understandings of committed human relationships. In one way, I’m surprised that conservative Christians are against gay marriage. If conservatives wanted control over gay people and how they are allowed to act and present themselves then the best way to do that would be to bring them within the walls of their moral codes. I think it is wonderful when a new state approves gay marriage, but is to be within those walls really what is best? I’m not saying I disapprove of marriage… I think it is exciting when two people are in love and make a commitment to each other. But there are lots of side issues (such as church vs. state marriage) and this is not really meant to be a blog entry on marriage.
And there are plenty of other issues that come to mind… sexual ethics, open relationships, pornography, bdsm, family dynamics, the nature of love… Being queer should challenge us to try to think through those issues and not just accept the stereotypical, traditional Christian responses. And all of this questioning and searching the Bible, our hearts, and our fellow spiritual journeyers for answers should bring us closer to God in a more genuine, heartfelt relationship. Because that’s what queer people have to do, forge our own path of relationships – with each other and with God.
Related to this questioning, being a gay Christian has led me to think of Christ as queer… Jesus was always challenging the status quo, making people think. If you’re interested in the idea of a queer Christ, I’ll offer a sermon I preached a couple of years ago for further reflection. Listen to it at http://www.phoenixchurch.org/sermons/032909_ka_1corinth12_12-21_26.mp3 or read the pdf file attached to this blog entry.
Okay, that’s it as a last minute reflection on what being queer and Christian means to me… at least what it means to me today anyway 🙂 I’m still questioning… and hope I always will be.
referenced sermon in pdf format: Recognizing Ourselves in Christ
At a meeting a month or so again I mentioned how my church had made a difficult decision without rancor or ill will despite the fact that not everyone was in agreement on what the outcome should be. Several people asked “how did you do that?” as if it sounded quite miraculous. Indeed, in some sense it did seem like a miracle, especially considering we have, at times in our history, sometimes made easy decisions seem difficult and difficult decisions seem almost impossible. But this is not unique to our church either. Any group of human beings, all of whom have unique opinions, passions, and perspectives, can struggle with group decision making.
This led me to think about how did we take a difficult decision and make a pleasant process out of it? Here are some of my thoughts and some of the principles that we followed: