The original proposal stated: “On that day I want people to blog about what queer theology means to them. I want you to share your story of how reading the Bible queerly has changed your life. I want you to talk about how your sexuality or your gender identity has brought you deeper into relationship with God.”

And further clarified: “This synchroblog is NOT ABOUT apologetics. This isn’t about taking on the clobber passages or explaining why it’s okay to be queer. It’s time to move past those conversations. [...] This day will give a hint of the beautiful stories that can be shared; of the amazing ways that queer folks read and delve into the Scriptures.”

Since I’ve waited until the last possible moment to think about this, my thoughts aren’t as well thought out as I would like… but I’ll give it a shot.

As a gay pastor of a small church composed of mostly LGBT people, the relationship of Christianity and queerness is very much of personal interest to me. First of all, I would echo the anarchistreverend’s sentiment that “it’s time to move past [apologetic] conversations.” Although I don’t mind giving my take on the “clobber” passages or why one can be queer and Christian to those who are genuinely struggling with those questions, I have no interest whatsoever in arguing about it with those who are determined to adhere to homophobic views. Queer people are loved children of God and our inherent, God-given worthiness is not up for debate. Period. End of Question.

But what does being queer and Christian mean to my life? For one, if I had not come to terms with being gay, I probably would never have come back to the church or Christianity. After many years, having left the church behind for reasons that had nothing to do with the question of queerness, I came back to church as a safe place to meet other gay people. In the process, I discovered “progressive” Christianity and re-found my love of the church and God. This has led me on a weird and wonderful journey to ministry.

But does being gay / queer enhance my spiritual journey? One way in which it does is that being a queer Christian forces me to question the status quo. To think for myself. I cannot just accept whatever traditional doctrine that I’m told I’m supposed to believe. Too many church teachings have historically been about maintaining the church’s power over people’s lives and not about helping them find God’s love. To buy into those doctrines would be self-damaging and irresponsible. The way many churches treat queer people is a good example of this at work.

This questioning and challenging is a gift that queer people give to the church. Being queer is to be on the margins of what is “acceptable.” Queerness makes people question and challenge boundaries, especially as to whether our boundaries are really God-given or established by fearful, power-pursuing humans. Marriage is a good example. Queerness challenges the status quo. It challenges the very definition of and reasons for marriage.

But, our questioning as queer people should also go beyond pushing the boundaries outward to include more people. We should question the very structure of the boundaries. Sticking with marriage, we might question whether being included in this institution is even the best thing. Perhaps we instead need new understandings of committed human relationships. In one way, I’m surprised that conservative Christians are against gay marriage. If conservatives wanted control over gay people and how they are allowed to act and present themselves then the best way to do that would be to bring them within the walls of their moral codes. I think it is wonderful when a new state approves gay marriage, but is to be within those walls really what is best? I’m not saying I disapprove of marriage… I think it is exciting when two people are in love and make a commitment to each other. But there are lots of side issues (such as church vs. state marriage) and this is not really meant to be a blog entry on marriage.

And there are plenty of other issues that come to mind… sexual ethics, open relationships, pornography, bdsm, family dynamics, the nature of love… Being queer should challenge us to try to think through those issues and not just accept the stereotypical, traditional Christian responses. And all of this questioning and searching the Bible, our hearts, and our fellow spiritual journeyers for answers should bring us closer to God in a more genuine, heartfelt relationship. Because that’s what queer people have to do, forge our own path of relationships – with each other and with God.

Related to this questioning, being a gay Christian has led me to think of Christ as queer… Jesus was always challenging the status quo, making people think. If you’re interested in the idea of a queer Christ, I’ll offer a sermon I preached a couple of years ago for further reflection. Listen to it at http://www.phoenixchurch.org/sermons/032909_ka_1corinth12_12-21_26.mp3 or read the pdf file attached to this blog entry.

Okay, that’s it as a last minute reflection on what being queer and Christian means to me… at least what it means to me today anyway I’m still questioning… and hope I always will be.

referenced sermon in pdf format:  Recognizing Ourselves in Christ

This led me to think about how did we take a difficult decision and make a pleasant process out of it?  Here are some of my thoughts and some of the principles that we followed:

1.  Keep your priorities in mind

It is important to remind everyone what is really important and what the real goals of the decision are – and offer these reminders often.  For example, our particular decision involved the physical location of where our church would meet.  Therefore we frequently reminded ourselves that the church is not the building.  The people are the church and where we met wasn’t as important as everyone’s support of each other and our communal relationship with God.  This helped minimize the fear that change would harm the church.

2.  Be well informed

Distribute all of the information you have about the decision early, often, and in as many ways as possible.  Don’t let anyone be able to claim they didn’t have access to all of the information available.  Make sure dates and times of meetings and votes are well publicized.

3.  Let everyone have a voice

Don’t save all of the discussion for the time of the vote.  Have open opportunities for discussion so that everyone has the ability to hear everyone else as well as to voice their own opinions and fears.  Limit the time of these discussions as people will start to get antsy after 60-90 minutes.  Hold multiple discussion sessions if needed both to allow sufficient time and to allow for participation by those who may have a conflict with a particular meeting time.

4.  Agree on communication guidelines

Even before holding a meeting, or perhaps at the first meeting, decide on discussion guidelines as a group.  Some examples to consider (there are certainly others that don’t appear here):

* Everyone must use “I” statements.  Only talk about and for yourself.
* Everyone must speak only for themselves.  No statements like “everyone thinks…”
* Don’t run down others or their opinions.  Anything said in response to another’s statement should only be to ask for a clarification.
* Is a time limit desired for those speaking?

5.  Agree on the decision process

Before holding a vote, make sure everyone knows the process.  Agree on any special rules.  For example, if it is an important and/or difficult decision, is a super majority desirable?  Are you trying to reach a consensus and if so how will you do that?  In our situation, we were not comfortable with a possible decision being made on a one vote simple majority and so agreed that we would require a 2/3 majority.

Also, consider whether there are any additional discussion guidelines desired.  For example, in our case we decided that discussion at the time of the vote would be limited.  Each person would only be allowed to speak once per round of voting.  This decision was made because 1) extensive discussions had already been held over preceding weeks, 2) we were concerned about the need for multiple rounds of voting and the time that would take (the longer the meeting, the more people would grow tired and frustrated), and 3) we did not want the discussion to devolve into arguing and repetition of points that had already been made.

6.  Consider presenting a proposal to focus discussion

At times, our church’s Steering Committee has presented a concrete proposal at congregational meetings when it was felt we needed some focus in the discussion of a particular issue.  Otherwise, a large group can get bogged down in nitty gritty details (for example, by trying to come up with just the “right” language for the proposal), drawing meetings out and frustrating those who simply want to make a decision and move on.  However, with our building decision this was not done and I think it was, in this case, the right tact to take since the options were clear (i.e. we didn’t need to first decide what it was we needed to decide).

7.  Have a strong moderator

The person or persons moderating the meetings for both discussion and voting need to be willing to enforce the community agreed on rules gently, tactfully, and fairly.  You might encourage the group to help police itself as well.  If the discussion starts to wander off topic, the moderator needs to call the group to re-focus.  Also, be aware when tensions are rising.  If necessary, take a breather.  Don’t be afraid to interrupt the meeting by asking for a moment of silence for prayer and reflection before re-starting the discussion.  In an extreme circumstance, the group might consider adjourning to a different day when cooler heads can prevail.

Watch: ‘At 13′, A Spoken Word Anti-Bullying Performance by Kenneth Morrison – Towleroad | #gay #news.

FROM PARIS WITH YAGG Pink Triangles: The last known survivor tells his story | FROM PARIS WITH YAGG.

Here’s the video (also referenced from the above link):

YouTube – Joel Burns tells gay teens “it gets better”.

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It is reported that the following edition of Genesis Chapter 2 was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

And Adam said, “God, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me. “

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, “But God, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”

And God said, “No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam’s guardian angel came to God and said, “God, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility. And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Cat did not care one way or the other.

Vacation in Northern Michigan 2010